| joy williams "hide" |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|10:46 pm] |
To anyone who hides behind a smile
To anyone who holds their pain inside
To anyone who thinks they're not good enough
To anyone who feels unworthy of love
To anyone who ever closed the door
Closed their eyes and locked themselves away
You don't have to hide
You don't have to hide anymore
You don't have to face this on your own
You don't have to hide anymore
So come out, come out, come out wherever you are
To anyone who's tryin' to cover up their scars
To anyone who's ever made a big mistake
We've all been there, so don't be ashamed
Come out, come out and join the rest of us
You've been alone for way too long
And if you feel like no one understands
Come to the One with scars on His hands
'Cause He knows where you are, where you've been
His scars will heal you if you let Him
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this song comforts me, because it's nice to know that i'm not the only one who feels like this. i hope i get to the point of my life where i won't have to hide anymore. |
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| c- in chem! |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|07:17 pm] |
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i had a D+ in chem awhile ago today, but then i went to see my teacher and she told me she ahd forgotten to add in a homeowrk grade and i ended up getting a c-. I should know tht god will always be there to help me. thanks for all those who comforted me. |
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| you won't believe what i found on someone's live journal |
[Jan. 7th, 2006|10:31 pm] |
Europe
The Times January 03, 2006
Prove Christ exists, judge orders priest
From Richard Owen in Rome
AN ITALIAN judge has ordered a priest to appear in court this month to prove that Jesus Christ existed.
The case against Father Enrico Righi has been brought in the town of Viterbo, north of Rome, by Luigi Cascioli, a retired agronomist who once studied for the priesthood but later became a militant atheist.
Signor Cascioli, author of a book called The Fable of Christ, began legal proceedings against Father Righi three years ago after the priest denounced Signor Cascioli in the parish newsletter for questioning Christ’s historical existence.
Yesterday Gaetano Mautone, a judge in Viterbo, set a preliminary hearing for the end of this month and ordered Father Righi to appear. The judge had earlier refused to take up the case, but was overruled last month by the Court of Appeal, which agreed that Signor Cascioli had a reasonable case for his accusation that Father Righi was “abusing popular credulity”.
Signor Cascioli’s contention — echoed in numerous atheist books and internet sites — is that there was no reliable evidence that Jesus lived and died in 1st-century Palestine apart from the Gospel accounts, which Christians took on faith. There is therefore no basis for Christianity, he claims.
Signor Cascioli’s one-man campaign came to a head at a court hearing last April when he lodged his accusations of “abuse of popular credulity” and “impersonation”, both offences under the Italian penal code. He argued that all claims for the existence of Jesus from sources other than the Bible stem from authors who lived “after the time of the hypothetical Jesus” and were therefore not reliable witnesses.
Signor Cascioli maintains that early Christian writers confused Jesus with John of Gamala, an anti-Roman Jewish insurgent in 1st-century Palestine. Church authorities were therefore guilty of “substitution of persons”.
The Roman historians Tacitus and Suetonius mention a “Christus” or “Chrestus”, but were writing “well after the life of the purported Jesus” and were relying on hearsay.
Father Righi said there was overwhelming testimony to Christ’s existence in religious and secular texts. Millions had in any case believed in Christ as both man and Son of God for 2,000 years.
“If Cascioli does not see the sun in the sky at midday, he cannot sue me because I see it and he does not,” Father Righi said.
Signor Cascioli said that the Gospels themselves were full of inconsistencies and did not agree on the names of the 12 apostles. He said that he would withdraw his legal action if Father Righi came up with irrefutable proof of Christ’s existence by the end of the month.
The Vatican has so far declined to comment.
THE EVIDENCE
The Gospels say that Jesus was born to the Virgin Mary in Bethlehem, grew up in Nazareth, preached and performed miracles in Galilee and died on the Cross in Jerusalem
In his Antiquities of the Jews at the end of the 1st century, Josephus, the Jewish historian, refers to Jesus as “a wise man, a doer of wonderful works” who “drew over to him both many of the Jews and many of the Gentiles”
Muslims believe Jesus was a great prophet. Many Jewish theologians regard Jesus as an itinerant rabbi who popularised many of the beliefs of liberal Jews. Neither Muslims nor Jews believe he was the Messiah and Son of God
Tacitus, the Roman historian who lived from 55 to 120, mentions “Christus” in his Annals. In about 120 Suetonius, author of The Lives of the Caesars, says: “Since the Jews constantly made disturbances at the instigation of Chrestus, Emperor Claudius expelled them from Rome.” |
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| midterm madness |
[Jan. 7th, 2006|01:18 pm] |
i still ahven't really started studying for midterms. i am screwed. i am failing chemistry. seriously, i get c's, and d's on my quizzes, and f's on my test. if I fail the mid-term i will mostly likely fail with an F chemistry and get dropped from my school. if i do i'll kill myself. wow-i say i don't care about school but part of me does. part of me really wants to do well, part me loves being at my school-despite all it's problems and faults. but then i say people take school to seriously-what does it matter but then i'm willing to like literally kill mysefl if i get kicked out.
i just read my friend's livejournal-which cleary expresses how i sometimes feel. I can't really write out my feelings-I can write beautiful essays but when it comes to sharing my feeling-nope. These past few days Ihave wanted to write but I have felt so angry and worthless. Like write now i want to talk about how I feel but everything's oming out all wrong.
i feel incredably lonely. i feel as if God is ten million miles. i know the bible says contary but that dosen't really help. i feel weird at school-like everyone's looking at me. I feel weird at church-like no one cares. you know what i give up. i can't explain how i feel. |
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| so tired |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|10:09 pm] |
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i am so tired that i am falling asleep. jut one more homework-one more. spanish. uhh. tiredness! |
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| WHO I AM HATES WHO I'VE BEEN, WHO I AM HATES WHO I'VE BEEN |
[Jan. 3rd, 2006|12:19 am] |
TJIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS, WRITTEN BY ONE OF MY FAVOITE BANDS RELIENT k. THIS SONG DESCRIBES ME.
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"
I watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...
'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.
[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.
And I can’t let that happen again
‘cause then you’ll see my heart
in the saddest state it’s ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]
Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won’t take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I’ve been
‘cause who I’ve been only ever made me...
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I’m ready to try and never become that way again
‘cause who I am hates who I’ve been.
Who I am hates who I’ve been. |
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| NBC'S "The Book of Daniel" |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|11:29 pm] |
Hey guys tell me what you think of thisnew show by NBC. below is an article about the show:
"NBC show stars Jesus, pill-popping priest
'Book of Daniel' promoted with eye to stirring controversy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted: December 11, 2005
1:00 a.m. Eastern
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© 2005 WorldNetDaily.com
Aidan Quinn
NBC has begun promoting a new weekly show in January that centers around a troubled, pill-popping Episcopal priest played by veteran actor Aidan Quinn, who talks with a manifestation of Jesus, played by Garret Dillahunt.
"The Book of Daniel" is being touted as the riskiest new show of the year. It is also billed as the only show on television in which Jesus appears as a recurring character.
It's a drama with comedic aspects and is being kicked off Jan. 6 with back-to-back episodes. It is scheduled to air regularly Friday nights at 9 p.m. The cast also includes Ellen Burstyn and Susanna Thompson.
As NBC itself explains the show, it focuses on "an Episcopalian minister and father. He finds himself conversing with Jesus -- his mentor and friend -- who helps navigate family problems, church politics and even his nagging reliance on prescription painkillers."
Comedienne Phyllis Diller plays a member of Daniel Webster's flock.
Garret Dillahunt
NBC executives have been excited about "The Book of Daniel" for a long time, though the show failed to make its fall lineup. Dillahunt is said to play a "hip, modern Jesus."
"This challenging new series is our first announced drama for midseason as we continue to seek different out-of-the-box projects," NBC Entertainment President Kevin Reilly told the Hollywood Reporter. " |
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| normal |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|12:58 pm] |
I'm back to normal normal! i don't feel completely crazy anymore! But can anone really define normal? What could be normal to me, may not be normal for you...just kidding I'm not going into my weird philosphy on normalness mode. i have nothing really new to report to you guys. So I'm off!
God bless |
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| depression |
[Dec. 26th, 2005|01:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused, sad, angry | ] |
I was just browsing through the some of the livejournal communities and I am really sad now. i found some livejournals and it was all about how people lost someone they really cared about. like this one girl her mom died from breast cancer when the girl was only 14. then her brother died. and she has depression, social anxiety disorder, and mild OCD. Then there was this oher girl who lost her brother Micah. he was on a boat with some friends ewhen the boat turned over, he was the only one who died. he was 18. then there was this othe rpeson whose 4 year old son died. then there was a bunch of people who lost someone they loved to suicide.
i am mad too. everybody keeps saying God is love, then why does all this crap happen. i know part of the answer because we all ahve free will and people sometimes die from the stupid choices they make or others make, and god knows everything, and because of sin we live in a broken world where physical death is inveitable. So I'm not stupid. i know a lot of the Bible. But still my mind wants to ask why.
My live journal is public and I have no intention of making it friends only or secret. What's the point, especially considering there are so many other live journals out there that the chances of people finding mine are slim to none. And anyway, everybody goes through tough stuff, so maybe by keepin gmy live journal public I can give hope to others that they are not alone. Riight now i'm just rabbling. i don't care if it makes sense or not. My thoughtts don't make sence have the time.
My friend has a verbally abusive mother. I want to help her, but how...? i don't feel like I'm doing enough or could ever do enough. her mom is always yelling at her and treating her like crap. She also has a younger sister who follows her everywhere and can be really annoying. she has two older brothers that don't really care about anyone but themselves, (but who can blame them, knowing their situration.) i know people who are going though so much and I want to help them.
but i feel mad too, because the very one i want to help look down at me. Like It's my fucking fault that I can't help them. sometimes i want to kill them. but i won't. it's not their fault. but I hate when people look down at me. it makes me feel worthless. Sometimes i want to kill myself. but i won't because it will just cause others so much pain and who knows maybe God actually has a plan for my life and for the lives of my friend who are going though so much.
Life is worthless. That's how i sometimes feel. all the pain and suffering.. sometimes i think, religion (even christianity) is jusst people attempts at finding meaning to life and not killing themselves or others. life is very confusing. satan surely does have this world where he wnats it.
i don't normally curse. i'm just mad. i think everybody wants me to be perfect. Like they win't love me if I have flaws. my mom always blames me for things that are NOT my fault. and she always complains about everything i do. i sometimes just want to kill myself. I'm not crazy. i'm just confused and sad and mad.
i have midterms. i should really study, but then again. wha's the point. waste my life studying when i'm just going to die. Sometimes i wander how anyone could love me. if anyone loves me.
i'm online to avoid taking to my friend. i can't help her. i want too but I feel like running away. i'm a coward. good bye now. |
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| Bruce Almighty |
[Dec. 25th, 2005|11:05 pm] |
O.k. now, why would i be writing about a movie that some Christians consider blasmous towards God? Well,believe it or not but that movie holds some valuable spiritual insight.
This movie is about a tv reporter named bruce Nolan, who lives with his live in Girlfriend of five years named Grace, and their dog Sam. Well right from the beginning of the movie it is obvious that Nolan is unhappy with his life. He gets what he terms as "medicore assignments" which he says is oreventing him from achieveing his goal of being anchorman in channel station-the station he works for. he is jealous of this other guy who gets all the better assignments and the other guy eventullay gets the job of anchor man-which cause Nolan to go crazy during one of his assignements-which than causes him to be fired. After Nolan is throne out of his station he sees a poor guy beingharrrased by a bunch of hispancs, nolan tries to help him but the hispanics end up beating him up. the old guy shows nolan a sigh that says, "the world is just." and Nolan freaks. Bu anyways when he's at home he freaks out at his girlfriend saying, "I'm sick and tired of living in a medicore hime. Having a medicore job. and living a medicore life." his girlfriend is in tears becuase she really loves him and the life they have established, but nolan drives away angry. yelling at God.
to make a long story short, God gives Nolan all of his powes to show Nolan that being God is no easy task. Nolan is given too rules that he must follow while he is god. He can not tell anyone he is God and he can not mess with anyone's free will.
At one point during the moive grace leaves him and Nolan tries to force her to love him with his powers, but he can't. You see, God can't force anyone to love Him. We have to choose whether or not to love him.
on another instance Nolan says yes, to everyones prayers and everything ends up going crazy. You see, there are reasons why God dosen't give us our every petition. God is in control. Oh i could go writing on about this forever. i'm going to go find something on the internet about the movie, so i can paste here an d hopefull it can do a better job of explaining it so that tomorrow i can go ump write in about the spiritually messages the movie contains. (strange huh?)
God bless! |
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| Is there a God? |
[Dec. 25th, 2005|07:13 pm] |
O.k. these questions have been floating around in my mind for quite some time and I really need to vent them out because my faith literally hangs in the balance. I honestly believe evolution is not logical. I mean, come on, one species involving into another? And anyway i asked my science teacher last year why aren't humans involving and he gave me some stupid answer that I can't even remember fully right now. I thought a very important part of science included experiments that can be repeated to produce the same results everytime. there is no way to cause an animal to change from one species to another. yet with all my science bashing I feel a deep respect for scientists because of all the great things that have come out of science, And even though i don't like studying science in school, I must admit that I do find it pretty interesting. But anyways what about religion. O.k. I was reading this article about a debate about the New king james verison vs. the King James verision. well supposeldy the New King James Verision is a verision from satan, with hundreds of verses ommited and/or changed. Then there is this whole argument about the Greek and Hebrew sources used to make the verisions. O.k No one has the original copies of scriptures that the paul and others supposedly wrote. O.k. dosen't anyone else see something wrong with this? As far as we know the the writings ascribed to Paul, may not have even been his words at all! And what;s all this faith comes from God? So o.k. you need to have faith to believe in God, but that faith comes from God. i read this website that gave some supposelbly logical reasons that God exists but at the end of the article the website said that if you are still unconveinced about the existance of God, pray and ask God for the faith to belive. he will eventually give it to you. O.k. in order to pray to God, you have to have some ever slight belief that God is real/.
but yet with all my complaining my heart still feels the need to believe in a God. To believe that someone loves me unconditionally. to believe that there is a sence of justice in the world. Can anyone say: confusion? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|10:33 pm] |
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MMM. i haven't really updated because for the past year Xanga has been my perferred choice but I think that I wll give live journal ashot for awhile and try to get know some new people in this live journal community! |
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| My first journal entry |
[Nov. 18th, 2005|11:52 pm] |
wow... now I have a livejournal in addition to having like three xangas.. I need to get a life... and I need to tell my friends other that J that I have a live journal.
Well what should i write about? well how about what's on my mind.
I kind of feel like a failure- because I really want to serve Jesus christ with all of my heart yet i fear the opions of other peoplle that it keeps me from living completely for God. it is very annoying,because I know how God can use me but I am so afraid that I will screw Up that I won't even try andymore. The only reasonsthat I won;t completely give up on being Christian is because life with God, even through all the problems and trials believers go through, live with God is better than Life without Him. He has always glorified himself in my life and has helped me through every siuration. i am a light to the world, especially to people at school, and there are people praying for me and who love me and want me to succed. Most important of all, the fact that Jesus died a horrible death for me and the changes he has made in my life is enough to make me want to keep fighting the battle of faith despite all my weakness and faults. I just pray that the Holy Spirit will help me to stay strong and faithful
Got 2 go.
God bless,
nay |
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